ForgetMeNot
by fmakhtc1fan
Summary: Is the world so cruel that we can't be who we wish to be? Is God so punishing that he would take away the single light in someone's life? Is life so shameless that I can't bear to cry for his sake? SxC angstfic. Character death. You have been warned...


Ok, so when I first started writing this, I was in an 'let's-write-an-angst-fanfiction mood and halfway through I had to go eat dinner and didn't write for, like, 2 weeks xP so the second half might not be as angst as I liked but eh, it got the point across :/

WARNING!!!!!: This story is NOT, I repeat, **NOT** beta-read so I'm terribly sorry if there are a lot of spelling and grammar errors! PLEASEEEEEEEEE don't review my story saying "OMG this story sucks cuz you suck at writing" because that would make me very sad and I put a lot of thought into this story ;-; So please if your going to comment on my crappy writing skills, please put SOME kind of redeeming comment in as well .~.

Disclaimer: Sonny with a Chance does NOTTTTTTT belong to me! Otherwise in the most recent episode, The Heartbreak Kid, Tawni would NOT be in the back of Chad's really nice car and Sonny and Chad would have already kissed by now :P

Quick info: This is about 5-6 years in the future so:  
Chad = big movie star  
Sonny (+ So Random! cast) = show kind of like SNL

Enjoy! ^^

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Forget-Me-Not

It was a rainy day when it happened. The day my best friend and one true love died. He was murdered, the murderer now in jail for it, but I was standing next to him. I watched as the mysterious man took the gun from inside his trench coat pocket, pointed it to him, and pulled the trigger. He went down quickly, letting no noise out as the bullet went through a part of his chest. The ambulance didn't make it in time, they said if I had called but a few minutes later, he might have survived; but do they know what it feels like to have the one person who you love torn away by a single bullet?! They obviously don't know what I was feeling at all. My love said nothing as I held onto his hand, practically chanting his name, saying not to leave me and that he would make it, but it was all a lie. A few seconds later, his grip loosened and his eyes shut leaving me in the rain and his soon-to-be-cold body. Why did that man have to shoot him? Why did he not say anything as I held him? Why did he have to leave me so soon? Chad Dylan Cooper…

I'm at the funeral right now. I'm not crying, I'm not about to cry, I feel…empty. I vaguely listen to the pastor speak about the one man I loved so much.

"Chad Dylan Cooper was a fine man. He grew up in a small city in California, Knightsen, where he started his acting career, in small plays and such. When he turned 16, the production company asked him to be Mackenzie in Mackenzie Falls. That was where he met his wife for the first time. At first they disliked each other, but soon grew to love. Once Mackenzie Falls finished its 10th season, he finally went to bigger movies and became one of the world's most beloved actors ever. It is truly sad that we will never again see this man's talent on screen. He will be greatly missed by his adoring fans and his friends. And now, a word from the people that loved him the most." The pastor said as he finished discussing Chad's past. Somewhere in my swollen heart I felt it unnecessary to discuss that since the people that were here probably already knew all too well about Chad and his life.

His mother walked up to the podium, a handkerchief in hand and a hat with a thin veil over her face. "Chad was the best child any parent could ask for. He may have been cruel to the people he knew, but that was simply his way of showing he loved them. The moment I saw him in his first play, I knew he was going to make it great in the world. He used to come to me, saying how happy he was about being in the next big play. It was so darling how he got so excited, telling me over the phone how good it was to be at Stage 2 and that it was his greatest decision ever made."

She went on telling stories about when he always called her when he could and always told her he loved her. That was a lie. I knew better than everybody here that Chad hated his mother and she hated him. He told me once that she told him, before he left for Hollywood, that having him was the greatest mistake of her life, yet she's up there telling the people fake stories. She obviously had everyone fooled though since everyone had a small, sad smile on their lips. Not once did she mention me in her speech.

I was next after his mother finished her artificial speech. It must have seemed like I floated up there, I felt so light and empty. "Chad was…my everything. He was my light when I was shrouded in darkness. He was my one true flower in my field of weeds. He was my blanket on cold nights. He meant more to me than my own life, more than the entire Earth itself. I wish he could be here right now, to see just how popular he truly is. He told me everything about his life, how his father died when he was young, how his mother truly hated him, how he really didn't like his cast at Mackenzie Falls, how he loved me more then everyone. He was truly my knight in shining armor. The man that shot him that day was an ex of mine. The man was aiming for me. Yet Chad rushed in front of me and protected me to the very end. I love him. Not loved him, not is in love with him, no, I love him. And…that's all I have to say."

The funeral went on like that, people talking about how great he was and how wonderful he had been. The entire time I zoned out, thinking about nothing, just tuning people out. Soon it was time to bury his body into the ground underneath. The pastor said a few more words, asking God to take his spirit to heaven and things like that. I still have yet to shed a tear for him.

Soon after the funeral, everyone left leaving me alone staring at his tombstone which read:

'Here lies Chad Dylan Cooper

A loving actor, son, and husband

May he rest in peace'

Staring at this, I still feel nothing. His death has scarred me, I know it. I just won't show it, not right now. It scares me, how easy it is to hide any emotion I might show. Is this how he might have felt around his mother? His cast, maybe? I'll never know, ever again…

~*~

It's been a week since my husband died. Somehow, I still have not shed a single tear for his death. Many people have noticed my emptiness, though.

Nico was the first to notice. He was always watching me closely, sometimes too close for comfort. After I finished a scene with him, he pulled me off to the side and asked me, "Are you alright?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" I replied, tilting my head to the side a bit.

"Well, I've noticed you're kind of not with us. Like you're on a major zone-out and don't feel like coming out anytime soon…" He said concerned.

I made a sad face that was accompanied by a small smile and told him, "Don't worry about it. I'm fine." And we continued with the scene again. That was on Monday.

On Tuesday, Grady noticed I wasn't that into my work that week too. It was lunch, the time when his mind best works, when he asked me what was wrong. I replied to him the same as I replied Nico. Nico was harder to convince I was ok, even if I wasn't. I always cared for those two, as brothers of course. I loved how they cared for me so much, it's intoxicating.

It took till Thursday for Tawni to ask about my…depression…?

"Hey, what's up with you?" She asked in her own loving/conceited way.

"What do you mean? Nothing's wrong with me." I replied, much like Nico and Grady.

"You don't fool me! You may have let Nico and Grady off the hook, but Tawni Hart is NOT that easily fooled!" She said pointing a finger in my face.

I said the only thing I could think of to get her off my back. "I haven't looked in a mirror since he died. Would you mind getting one for me, it might help."

Tawni did a large gasp and said, "Oh my goodness I know exactly how you feel!! Let me go get you one, you poor thing!" And she ran off. I loved Tawni, but she didn't need to fake concern…

~*~

It's been a year as of today since he died and my personality hasn't improved much. I can easily fake a smile and fake being who I used to be at work and in my social life, but the moment I get home I become the 'emo' person I will forever be. It's sad really, having this fake persona but what else am I supposed to do? Nothing, that's the answer I came up with. So that's what I did, nothing.

It's the first anniversary of his death and my friends from So Random! are here, along with his father. His mother died but a few months after his own death. The doctors said it must have been too hard for her to deal with Chad's death, in other words, she died of heartbreak, but I knew better. She was a heavy/chain smoker and the chemicals in the cigarettes simply got to her and she died. I was invited to her funeral but I didn't attend. I know Chad wouldn't have wanted me to go to someone he didn't love's burial.

I still live in the huge mansion Chad bought for the both of us. It's much too big I think but I can't simply let it go, so I still live in it, much to everyone else's dismay. I'm setting up the table for today before I start the dinner and I realize I need a centerpiece for the table. I run to the backyard where I pick up some of our flowers. Forget-Me-Nots, is what he called them. They were pretty little things, a bright blue shade and the appearance of a simple flower. I absolutely loved them and it made me a little happy that Chad had them planted all over the backyard garden. When I went back there, it was easy to pick the ones I loved the most and put them into a small vase for tonight.

When everyone arrived, I put on my shell like I always do around people and soon we were all around the dinner table. Tawni was the first to comment on the flowers.

"Ooh, those are absolutely adorable! What are they?" She said clasping her hands together in front of her face.

"It's a plant called Forget-Me-Not and it's me and Chad's flower. He had them planted all over our backyard garden." I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Flowers…? But aren't they weeds?" Chad's father asked.

My heart dropped at his comment and I said, "What…? No, of course not! They're an official flower! Other wise, why would Chad have made it our official flower…?"

"Well if I'm not mistaken, those are officially weeds, my dear." His father stated.

I clenched my fists in my lap, stood up abruptly and shouted, "YOU LIAR!" And with that I ran up to our room.

When I reached the room, I instantly pulled out my laptop and went onto the internet to Google 'Are forget-me-nots weeds?' I had to go down a little bit as it tried to correct me but saying, 'Do you mean are forget-me-nots seeds?' but I saw the first result to come up and I sat, dumbstruck. It said, "Field forget-me-not - Weed information - Organic Weed Management."

I vaguely heard a knock at the door and everybody from downstairs follow into my room as I kneeled down onto the ground. I heard in the back of my head Tawni asking, "Sonny, are you alright…?" As everyone else saw what I looked up and what I found, they all looked at me to see how I would respond to the new information.

I went on my hands with my head bent down, as if I was giving up. And I was. I had simply given up. Something inside of me snapped. It seemed like everything the my life was a lie.

I cried. I cried for the time I should have cried at his funeral. I cried for the time when he died. I cried for the times I should have throughout this entire year because I finally realized that I meant nothing to him. He may have been my flower in the field of weeds but I was simply the biggest weed in his field of flowers. I was the forget-me-not he could never see as a real flower. I was the woman he could never see as the true love of his life.

I loved him. I truly did. But just because I did, doesn't mean he did. And it's taken me this long to finally realize it. I will forever be a simple weed in his eyes and in his heart.

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Review? Please? :D


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